I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
