I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
