Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
