she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
