well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
