Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Success! We fucked roommates!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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