good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
