exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
