What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
