It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
