Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
