the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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