Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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