I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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