did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
