would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
