Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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