if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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