I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
