Just mADE A PArabola og urine
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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