Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
