Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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