goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
