SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
they're like a gay fantastic four
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
