phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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