My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
