Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
