WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
