so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
