when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
