why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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