It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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