so that wasnt chicken after all
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked