I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you traded sex for a burrito?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
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I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
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We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.