ADVERTISEMENT

• (504): View more from Louisiana

  can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...

  Fav 4 1976 826

  share tweet
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.

  Fav 9 811 2413

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control

  Fav 46 1117 8670

  share tweet
  

• (804): View more from Virginia

  You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.

  Fav 13 2736 1213

  share tweet
  
• 

  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I want my thong back.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I hate you tequila.

  Fav 16 5377 1112

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.

  Fav 10 6932 1388

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.

  Fav 26 7095 1679

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?

  Fav 6 5609 1601

  share tweet
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.

  Fav 6 1417 3082

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (239): View more from Florida

  Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.

  Fav 23 1582 5701

  share tweet
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.

  Fav 3 1086 2139

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.

  Fav 24 3859 1180

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  You need to be more adventurous.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way

  Fav 4 1848 857

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck

  Fav 1 380 141

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (708): View more from Illinois

  Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.

  Fav 0 147 61

  share tweet
  

Randomize