the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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