He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
