yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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