dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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