Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize