the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
did i walk over a car last night?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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