Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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