So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
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the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
You left your phone here
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