you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
