Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize