his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
