So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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