So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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