I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
