I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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