Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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