so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
