i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
