there's paper in my vomit.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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