he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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