Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
