Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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