I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
