Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
