I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
