I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
