I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
