roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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