i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
