id be glad to
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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