:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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