So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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