he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
