Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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