it was like eating out sand paper
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
